Yesterday I mentioned that I was going to be attending the visitation for Hannah, the little 17 month old baby who died from complications of MPS I. I went with 3 other ladies who were in the Bible study with me when we were introduced to Hannah’s grandmother. I’m really glad that we went together.
I was really, really nervous about going. I just didn’t know what to expect (other than that I would probably bust up crying at some point), and I didn’t know what to say. My expectations were cleared when we got there and I saw that while we were all grieving Hannah’s death, we were also celebrating her short life. I didn’t have to worry about what to say because it just came. I think Marlene was really glad to see us there, and I am really glad that we were able to be there for her. It wasn’t necessarily about saying anything, but just about being there. As I expected, I did cry, more than once.
The four of us who drove together went to eat dinner afterwards, and I was just talking about how even though I did not personally know Hannah, or her parents, I had just felt really connected to them. I think part of it has been the blogging… and it has been wonderful to know that there are other people who have cheered, cried, and prayed with me in their journey. Another part of it is that my son was born 2 months after Hannah, so they are pretty much the same age. It was really hard to look at him while she was struggling, and she what she should be doing… and even now, where she should be…
But even now, when I’m typing that, I realize that she was who she was. She was perfectly created because God knit her together in her mother’s womb (Psalm 139) She, in her short life, and really without knowing it, changed so many people’s lives! I know that she changed mine! I totally took for granted the health of my children until I became involved in Hannah’s struggle. In that respect, she has made me become more aware of the blessings in my life.
My prayers now will continue to be for her parents and family. They have lost a precious, precious child, and the pain of that loss is not going to be something that fades away quickly, or really, ever. I know that they will grieve her loss, but my hope is that as time goes on, that they would be amazed at the far reaching effects Hannah had on others, and that they would be able to see God’s love more and more clearly through the people that love them.
Everyone has a time frame for their lives when we are born. And even though sin messed up the world and now things like this happen, God still has a plan, and he uses these events to shape it. I don’t believe that God’s original thought was to have all of this happen, but I do believe He knew that it would. So, my options are: A: reject God based on the fact that He knew this would happen, and didn’t prevent it, or B: embrace God, rest in His mercy, and know that He is still working His plan, and that the plan, in the end, is that He will be victorious over all of the painful things in the world now. That’s what I choose.