what really matters
Lately, I have had a really difficult time really getting into my quiet times with the Lord. I mean, I’ve done it… but that’s it. I haven’t really felt a desire to be doing it, it’s been mostly out of a sense of “I should do this” sort of thing.
Mostly I’ve just been distracted. Ha! Who can say that they have a full 24 hour period in their lives where they are not distracted in some way? But this has been worse. I’ve been distracted by things that are “religious” in nature, but not spiritual. Get it? For example:
I read another blog, and last week there was this huge conversation/debate about Calvinism. Well, I’ll confess, I’ve heard the term, but if someone asked me to define Calvinism, I wouldn’t have been able to do it. So, I had been reading these conversation threads, and thinking, “what’s the big deal? It’s not like what they are talking about is a ‘make or break’ issue, as far as salvation is concerned”. Well, then it stuck in my head, and I was thinking about it, and researching it, and debating with myself if I believe the 5 points of Calvinism (which, for the record, I do, except for 1 of them that I still am debating in my head) and so on, and so on, until I realized that this “religious topic” was taking up the time and space I use to spend time with God. So, bad in and of itself, no, but overall… yes.
Anyways, that’s just one rambling example.
Today I went to my bible study time, where we are learning and practicing to have hearts more like Jesus. Kirk was talking about how every day, we stand at a fork in the road. One road he named “Jesus needs me”, and the other “Jesus desires me”. His point was that most of the time, Christians take the “Jesus needs me” road. Ha! (again!!!) God definitely doesn’t need to for anything. Afterall, He took some dirt, breathed on it, and a person was formed. He doesn’t need me to do anything that He can’t do just be thinking it. But, He does want a relationship with me. He does desire to spend time with me. The overall point today was that, if we are spending time waiting on the Lord with scriptures, and we are practicing “prayer, care, share”, then He will use us… not that He needs to, but He will.
Why does God use me, even though He doesn’t really “need” to? 2 Corinthians 5:20 says “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” I’m an ambassador! Woohoo!!! That is so super cool to me because while it clearly means that I’m esteemed in God’s eyes, and He trusts me with the responsibility, I don’t really have any responsbility other than to Him! The job description for an ambassador is pretty simple. They just represent someone else. As an ambassador for God, I don’t have to worry about “Calvinism vs. Arminianism”, or saving every person I meet, or anything like that! I just have to love God, and have His heart for people.
Isn’t that amazing? I was really convicted about the time I spend debating semantics and things that don’t really matter in the long run, when what I should be doing is making myself vulnerable to God and opening myself up to be used in whatever way necessary. And to do that, I have to love people… not because “I have to”, but because I desire to. That is, after all, how God loves me. He looks past my yucky stuff, past my prejudices, past my shallowness and self-centeredness to me. And He loves me. I am growing and learning to do the same. And I know the only way that will happen is if I see/experience God in my life, which means I need to spend time with Him.
And that’s what really matters. Not doctrines, not debates, not semantics, not philosphies… Just people.