I was only supposed to prove my husband wrong. oops.
For a while, my sweet husband has been telling me in his oh-so-subtle-ways (read: “you’re blind”) that I need to get my eyes checked. I thought he was ridiculous, but did secretly admit to myself inside that distance viewing and nighttime viewing were a leeeettle blurry… So last Friday I go to the optometrist really just to prove Matt wrong. I mean, a little blurry is not a huge deal, right? I was quite sure the dude was gonna tell me I didn’t quite have 20/20 vision anymore, but I did not need glasses. Well, I’m typing. In my glasses.
Yep. apparently I have astigmatism. In both eyes. And a distance correction in one eye. The optometrist said I’d probably developed it slowly, and had just become used to compensating for the blurriness. But really, I should wear them while driving, especially at night, and try them out during the day to see which activities benefitted from the “improved eyesight”.
I put them on in the store on Saturday, and was amazed. Really. I could see things that I had not seen before! It was very cool. And also humbling.
It’s weird because it’s not like I couldn’t see before, it’s just now I see so much better! I like the non-blurry version of things. It’s prevented long-term-computer-use-headaches, and when we’re watching TV at night, having them on gives me true “HD” vision!
It has made me think, though (switching here to “philosophical Whitney”). If my vision can be improved so much by such a small change, what else in my life could be improved my other small changes? hmmm… I think a lot.
I know that a small change I’m working on is getting up early for my quiet times. I had been happy/content doing them in the afternoon during naptime, but then I read Matt. 26:37-45. It’s a passage I’ve heard a million times before, about Jesus right before He was betrayed and crucified. He takes his disciples and goes to pray in the Garden of Gethsemane, and asks them to stay up and pray while he goes off by himself. Jesus returns in an hour and the disciples are sleeping. This happens three times. After the first time Jesus says (vs.41) “Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
I’ve read that so, so, so many times. Even have heard sermons on this passage. But, this was the first time I was truly convicted by it. I knew I had been giving into temptation (for indeed, my flesh is truly weak in the AM!) by thinking I was okay doing my quiet times in the afternoon. And there was a point in my life, where that was okay… when I was up all night feeding babies! But that part of my life has changed now, and I had been becoming discontent doing them in the afternoons, and have known for a while that I should be waking up earlier… I was just too lazy.
Today was the first day I fought that, and, by the grace of God, I was able to roll out and have an amazing time with the Lord at 6:30 this morning! I am hopeful and prayerful that this will become a habit over time.
So, (tying back to the intro in good paper-writing format…) my actual eyesight was worse than I thought. It took being able to see clearly to realize that I had not been clear before. I know that if I continue in the spiritual discipline (’cause buddy, it is work!) of rising early to be with the Lord, I will be able to walk and see more clearly His ways for me too. I’m excited to see what I’ll “see”!