Okay. So this actually isn’t a “treatise” on anything. I just felt like using the word. The last time I read anything with that word in the title was in high school. I wanted to take a nap after about 1 paragraph. Hopefully this will not bring on similar results…
I’m a TLC junkie. Yep. I love all of those kooky shows. The house renovations, the makeovers, the adoptions, the birthings, and especially (these days), the large family interactions. I’m sadly hooked on Jon & Kate + 8, as well as 17 (oops, now there’s another one) kids and counting. I don’t know why. I don’t really have ANY desire for such a large family myself, nor did I come from such an overgrown crew, but, it is fascinating to watch.
One of the coolest things is what my mom has termed the “Sue-Chelle” effect. Hear me out.
If you’ve EVER watched any show with the Duggar clan on it (from 17 Kids & Counting) you may have noticed that the mother (the only one without a name starting with “J”) always speaks in this really calm, soothing voice. It is much like one would speak to a crazy person ’bout to jump off a bridge. Well, after much confusion as to how a person could possibly use such a calm tone of voice all the time, my mom decided, maybe there was something to it. After all, this lady has 18 kids, and although it is chaos, it is definitely controlled chaos. So, my mother, being the mother to a slightly ADHD 12 year old boy, decided to try it out one day. And the results were amazing. Constantly speaking like you’re trying to coax a kitten out of a tree really worked to calm down her wild child! We call this the “Sue-Chelle” effect (combining her name and Michelle Duggar’s name). Yesterday I tried this out on my own kids… and yes, it worked! Now, I refer to myself as “WhiChelle”.
I analyzed the difference between how I acted yesterday vs. how I would have acted had I not been channeling WhiChelle, and honestly, I would have yelled more. Which leads me to believe that yelling doesn’t really get it done. Now, there’s going to be time & place for voice raising. Ie, if my child is doing something dangerous and I need to get their attention. But, for the most part, I think if I start while they’re young not yelling just to be heard, maybe, just maybe they will grow into more respectful, listening adults. Plus, if I yell all of the time, how are they going to be able to tell the difference between yelling just to yell/frustration, or yelling because I need their attention in a dangerous situation? It’s kind of like the reverse of the child how cried wolf. The parent who yelled about everything.
Okay, so that’s one thing I have learned from the Duggars. But, this is supposed to be a “treatise”… so I need to keep going, ’cause I think they’re supposed to be long.
Another thing I have learned is the value of teaching self-control at a young age. In one of the episodes, Michelle had one of the many younger boys sitting in a chair listening to his many older sisters play a mini violin concert. Now, is this something that would inherently interest a 5 year old boy? Probably not. Her point was that it was not meant to be torture, but that he was learning self-control by having to sit and pay attention to something that wasn’t “entertaining”. Aren’t we all a little guilty of “over entertaining” our kids? I think so. So, I really liked this practice. I do think it’s important to teach kids self-control, but the time is not when they are older. By that point, they either have it, or they don’t.
I guess that’s it for now. That’s my treatise. Good thing I’m not a politician or anything…