Sometimes He speaks in a still small voice. Sometimes He shuts down your computer?
Have you ever had an experience where you absolutely, without a doubt, knew that God was trying to tell you something? I have before, and did again a few nights ago. Let me explain.
So, I went to book club, had a great time, got home, watched a little “The Office” via DVR with my hubby, and then he was ready for bed. At this time it was about 10:15pm, which is about our normal turn-in time, only last night, I was tired… but not sleepy. You know? Like, if I had gone to bed at that point, I would have just laid there and/or tossed and turned until I finally got up an hour later to do something.
So, I get ready for bed (face washed, teeth brushed… all that good stuff), and then decide…why not work on my bible study a little bit. So, I did. And, I got really into it. Much more than I normally do. It was talking about the passage in Ephesians 6 concerning the “full armor of God”. I usually do not feel compelled to dissect passages, but I just did with this one. I was struck by several parts. First: The “full” armor of God. Not just “some of” the armor, but all of it. Made me realize for the first time that I can’t be piecemeal about how I protect myself from spiritual attack. Which is, if I’m being honest, how I’ve been doing it lately. I’ll have my belt of truth on, but completely lacking in my breastplate of righteousness, or any of the others… Second: I was made fully aware of the ORDER that the pieces of armor are mentioned. There’s a reason that truth is first… that righteousness is second… and so on. After much journaling, I didn’t make it past the first two, something I intend to do later today. The reason I didn’t make it past the righteousness part is because I have never really felt like I truly understood what that means. I mean, I hear it tossed around a lot. And, I grew up hearing it a lot, but could I explain it to someone if asked? I wasn’t sure. So, I spent some time looking up definitions, and writing/journaling until I felt something click.
What clicked was that I was not living the definition. Not to get into everything, but some of the synonyms were: uprightness, holiness, godliness, justice, integrity, faithfulness… And that’s where I stopped. This past week I’ve felt so unfulfilled. And lazy. And just blah. Small stuff has been tripping me up. And I couldn’t figure out why. After last night, I realized that my “breastplate of righteousness” had been left in the closet all week. When I got dressed, it was just not there. (not a literal piece of armor… I have to add this just so people know I’m not traipsing around looking like one of the knights of the round table) If I had, then I would be acting more in the interest of others, rather than myself, I would be taking care of my house better because that is, after all, the task/responsibility given to me at this point in my life, and ** I wouldn’t be wasting so much time online/facebooking/emailing etc…**
So, after a really great prayer time, I still was not feeling like going to bed. So, what do I decide to do??? The very thing I’ve just realized is preventing me personally from fully experiencing God in my day to day life. I hope onto the computer and log onto hotmail. Enter password, check. The next screen that comes up says, “You don’t have an inbox… yet”. Really? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure I do! After trying some self help stuff, it’s still not working, so I decide to hop on over to facebook! Aggghhh… I’m so dense! Password entered, check. I try to pull up a game I like to play… it’s not working. So, I go to another game… it’s not working either. I try about 5 more… none of them are working.
Why??? I don’t know. And, I’m not saying that God purposely shut down all of the applications that were going to distract me. But, they were shut down, and I learned a lesson.
If you pray for something… God will answer! Sometimes it’s in a still, small voice… sometimes He just shuts down your computer for you!
Can’t say that every prayer I’ve ever uttered has been answered in such a timely (from my POV, anyways) or even dramatic way… but I guess that’s what I needed that particular night. Since then, I have been making much more of an effort to not be on the computer so much. Which reminds me, I really should be getting off now! 🙂
Oh, BTW, ’cause I know you’re curious… my inbox and FB apps were working the next day.