I am at a crossroads. Big decisions ahead, watch out.
My whole life I’ve seen the misery that is the “relationship” between my mother and grandmother. My grandmother is honestly the most unhappy person I’ve ever met. I always was supportive of my mother’s complaints and issues with her mother because I could see with my own eyes how awful my grandmother was to her. My advice to her all of those years?
“Mom, that’s just how she is. She probably isn’t going to change, and so you just need to accept that that is how she is and choose how you’re going to deal with it. Either “cut her off”, or take the high road regardless of how she treats you”.
Words that are haunting me now…
My mother has turned in to my grandmother. All the years of “please tell me if I act like her” really meant, “even if I turn in to her and you tell me, I won’t believe you because I’ll be just like her”. Ironic, yes?
So now, I’m faced with a dilemma. My mother has hurt me again… on purpose. What to do? I am thinking that I can’t possibly live the rest of my/her life having this strained of a “relationship”. I have a choice now, I can cut her off, which will mean no more contact with not just her, but also my dad, my brother, my grandparents, and who knows who else. OR, I can take the advice I gave her so long ago, and accept that this is just how she is. I know that she will continue to do and say things that hurt, and that she intends for them to hurt. If I don’t accept this, will I be any better than she was/is… even to this day wanting my grandmother to be something other than what she is???
It’s a crossroads. I’m standing in the middle. I think I’ve made my choice, but I just don’t want to start down the road…