what were you doing 5 years ago???
This was the status update of a friend of mine on Facebook. I know that his intention was to provoke thoughts of Hurricane Katrina, and to not forget the devastation that some people are still trying to recover from. For me, though, it brought back different memories.
Five years ago today I was on the tail end of a miscarriage. We had found out about the pregnancy by chance, I had a cyst rupture, and the ER doctor attending me dropped the news. We were shocked, and ecstatic.
A few days later, I knew something was wrong. Went to the doctor, who gently confirmed my fears.
Five years ago was the end of the first week of school. That Friday I had to go for my last in a series of blood tests to make sure that my pregnancy hormone levels had zeroed out.
Five years ago was the start of a depression, followed quickly by euphoria again. We were able to get pregnant three months later, and nine months after that, our only beautiful daughter was born.
I often wonder what life would be like had the events of five years ago not happened. Our family would definitely look different; we would not have Rachel, and since Eli was born 15 months after her, probably not him either. I can’t imagine my life without either one of them, but that doesn’t prevent me from wondering what our first baby would have been like.
One day, one day I will know.