“season of life”
I have been a mother for four-and-a-half years. Over the course of those years, I have become accustomed to hearing, and saying the phrase, “it’s just my season of life”. I have referred to others (mainly when trying to comfort them!) that their “season of life” will not last forever. The adjustment to parenthood is not smooth; I believe on some days it is comforting to know that while I obviously don’t want to wish away the time I have with my children, there will come a day when potty training and Cheerios do not dominate my thoughts.
I have often used this innocuous phrase to explain why I can (or cannot) do certain things. Example: I can feel free to not take a shower until 2pm naptime… it is, after all, just that “season of life” for me. 🙂
On the flip side, I also excuse myself from activities with this free-for-all. Example: I cannot attend your middle-of-the-weekday Southern Living at Home party… I have three children not in school… it’s just that “season of life” for me.
Today I realized that while it’s completely true that this time during my life in some way limits my flexibility in outside-the-home participation in activities, I have been using it as a shield, an excuse, a front for my fears.
It all started with this status update on facebook:
—- & I are going to be on —- campus around 4:30. Let us know if you are there or want to join us!!!! Will be praying and sharing Jesus with people.
Now, my obvious response is no, I cannot join you. Our nap time here does not end until at least 3:30, and to drive to a college campus right before dinner time with three children and haul them around to pray with people? It’s just not going to be able to happen. I do not think that in this situation “season of life” is an excuse. It’s a reality. But it made me think….
What IF I didn’t have three children at home? What if all of my children were visiting grandparents, and I was completely free to come and go as I pleased??? What if…
I’m not sure I would still want to go. And there, my friends, was when I was convicted.
I don’t think that as a disciple of Christ I am responsible for telling every person I come in to contact with about Jesus. I do, however, believe that I have a responsibility to allow the Holy Spirit to work through me, and that does involve putting myself in situations in which sharing about Jesus is a possibility.
It’s scary, this thought.
I am okay with praying with people. It seems unobtrusive, and most people I have come in to contact with are not offended by someone asking to pray with them… but to take the next step… my heart constricts.
What if they think I’m weird?
What if they laugh, and point, and tell others about me???
What if they do?
It shouldn’t matter to me. I should be glad for the chance to share the tiniest bit of mocking… after all… the One who saved me endured far more.
So, what to do about it?
I can’t just start dragging my kids around to college campuses, but if I’m at the park, and I feel led… I could talk to someone, pray with someone, and even share about how Jesus has changed my life.