Went back to “Feed More Than Hunger”, a ministry that serves breakfast on Sundays to the homeless population in my town. (For the story about how we started going there, read here). This morning we were assigned to help out in the clothing closet. Went back there, met the girl who explained what we were supposed to do, and waited for folks to come back for clean clothes.
As before, the initial onslaught of humanity was overwhelming. As much as I mentally tried to prepare myself for the matter-of-fact physical needs these people have, today their spiritual needs were screaming out even louder. There are a few stories from today… but right now I’m only going to talk about Jaime.
Jaime came through pretty early on, and had to wait to get into the “closet”. Because of room size, only 3 women and 3 men were allowed back at a time. He stood out because he looking back to see if it was his turn. He only wanted a shirt, that’s all he kept saying. “Just 1 shirt”. He took off his old shirt to be washed & recycled back in to the closet, and it was a heavy winter-type shirt. Yesterday it was 93 degrees here, I know why he wanted that shirt!
So, it was his turn, he went back, found his shirt, and left.
And, I thought that was it. 🙂
I bit later I took Brady out into the main dining area to eat his breakfast bar and walk around a bit. I saw Jaime sitting at a table by himself. We sat across the table from him and started chatting.
He knows computers. He actually works off and on helping people with computer problems. He prefers PC’s to Mac’s. He made it a point to mention that he doesn’t have any kids… or a wife. He is 47 years old.
He point-blank stated,
“I don’t have any responsibilities, when I die, I know I will die alone, and it brings me a sense of peace to know that.”
And just that quickly the conversation (which was about 4 minutes long at this point) changed from chit-chatty questions & answers to something I could not ignore! He was at peace knowing he would die alone??? I responded that I guess I would be okay if I knew I would die alone because I knew that I would then be in heaven.
He gave me The Look. You know, the one that says, “yeah, that’s fine for you…”. Then, he even said as much. He said that when he was younger he saw a man standing on a corner & shouting through a bullhorn a hellfire & damnation kind of sidewalk sermon. He told the guy then (as he told me) that he did not see a need to repent of his ‘sins’ because “everything he had done in his life was intentional, so it wasn’t sin”. But “yes, he would accept Jesus as his savior if He was willing to take him”.
I was hoping that my jaw was not on the floor.
In that split second I knew that the two things he stated could not exist together. You cannot have Jesus as your savior if you see no sin in your life… and why would you want to? If you see no NEED for a savior, why have one? Sin provides the need, Jesus provides the saving.
I stated that, in hopefully more eloquent words than what I just wrote. And, he agreed.
And that is Jaime’s story.
No me explaining the gospel with such compelling words that he has no other option than to turn to God.
I left that conversation feeling that there should have been something more, but at the same time, knowing that it was all it was supposed to be.
I will pray for Jaime. I hope that he continues to run in to people who will speak Truth to him. I hope that his heart begins to soften to Truth.
I hope that I get to see him on the other side of this life…