real friends & FB friends
Last week, a girl I am an acquaintance of decided to log out of facebook for a while. Her reasoning was that if people really cared about her, or what’s going on with her, they could call or email to talk to her. There’s more to this story, and I fear it is a mostly sad story, but it made me think. ** Let me just insert here, that there was nothing wrong… I emailed her & everything is fine. I discovered later that the purpose for having her on my heart was to make me think about the Facebook deactivation, which did happen a few days later **
Facebook. I went a very long time before succumbing to the mind-numbing addiction that is Facebook. I guess I figured like my friend, I didn’t “need” it for anything. I had friends, I kept in contact with them, and that was enough for me.
Since joining, I have made connections with people from my past (which has been neat, especially since my dad was military and we moved around a good bit). I have also made significant connections with family that I knew about, but never knew. Those parts have been great.
On the other hand, I feel that there is a strong sense of false connection with several people as well. I know it’s false because if/when I run into these people out & about, there is a sense of awkwardness. I mean, we’ve commented on each other’s walls, commented on photos, shouldn’t we be “friends”? Shouldn’t we be able to carry on a conversation in the real world if we can converse in the Facebook world?
And yet, it is not so.
I know super-proponents of social networking will say that the point is not to make every FB friend you have a soulmate; I’m not saying that’s my goal. I’m just saying, that to me, it all feels a little false sometimes. Now is one of those times.
I know that there is a person hurting, I think I know (although I pray I’m wrong) I know the cause of her hurt, and yet, Facebook lulled me into a sense of complacency about our relationship; to the point that I never made an effort to kindle a real world friendship.
Am I going to disconnect completely from Facebook-land? No, probably not. I did, however, change my settings so that I get nothing but private messages emailed to me. I figure, if I’m not getting emails that tempt me into just “hopping on for a second”, then maybe I can avoid being on much at all.
I don’t want to have “Facebook friends”, and “real friends”. If I cannot be real with you, than why bother being fake?
I managed to maintain real friendships before Facebook, I’m sure I can manage without it as well…