bucket lists, bad knees & better goals
Almost a year ago, I wrote this post entitled “Bucket Lists & Bad Knees”.
To complete that post, I never got to participate in the race. My knee was so hurt that whenever I tried even to walk long distances, it would start bothering me.
I have to say, I was disappointed. Sorely disappointed. I went to the race on that (reallyreally cold!) October morning to cheer on the members of the team I was apart of. And though I was glad to be there, and super excited for every person that crossed the finish line, I was sad.
I was supposed to be there. And I wasn’t.
Now, a year later, I feel like it’s deja vu, only with a twist.
It’s not just about my Bucket List. It’s not just about my Bad Knees. It’s about my Better Goals.
I’ve given up the all-encompassing need to set a running goal I feel I can be “proud” of.
You see, last year, what I failed to mention in my post, was that I had a goal for myself. I didn’t necessarily care how FAST I ran, but I wanted to run the entire race. Run, jog, limp-jogging… whatever it took.
This year, I’m signed up to run the same race, the Chosen.
The friends I ran for last year have since been to China, and brought their daughter home. This year, I’m in the race for a new set of friends, a family in our church Life Group who are working to bring home the cutest little boy from Bulgaria.
Did you notice that?
That subtle change?
I said, “I’m in the race for…”, rather than, “I’m running for”.
Completing a half-marathon is still on my bucket list. And, unfortunately, I’m quite certain that my knees will never improve. I can happily run about 4-5 miles straight before I need to give my knee a rest. And, you know, I’m okay with that.
I know that this time around, I will be able to run MOST of it, but not ALL of it. I’ll have to break up the running with some periods of walking. And rather than see that as weakness, I now see it as a chance to recognize the goodness of God in allowing me to be able to participate again at all.
I’m okay with the fact that I’ll never RUN a half-marathon.
I’m okay with it because I know I will COMPLETE one, and I know that God has changed my heart to make the race less about me and my accomplishment than it is about what He’s doing in the world to rescue orphans.
I’m thankful I have a chance to do it the right way, with the right heart, even if it means being the slowest person on the team I’m on.
Completing. Rejoicing in the fact that another child is being rescued…
It’s a better goal.