When the Galilean boy brought his bread to the Lord, what did the Lord do with it? He broke it. God will always break what is offered to him. He breaks what he takes, but after breaking it he blesses and uses it to meet the needs of others. After you give yourself to the Lord, he begins to break what was offered to him. Everything seems to go wrong, and you protest and find fault with the ways of God. But to stay there is to be no more than just a broken vessel — no good for the world because you have gone too far for the world to use you, and no good for God either because you have not gone far enough for him to use you. You are out of gear with the world, and you have a controversy with God. This is the tragedy of many a Christian.
– Watchman Nee, The Normal Christian Life
I read this last night, and it hit me hard.
There are times of brokenness. There’s no way around them. Christian or not, there will be times in every human life where brokenness occurs.
Cancer, death of a loved one, loss of a job, depression, divorce… all of these things occur regardless of ones standing with the Lord.
What I loved about this passage is the clear choice that is given for Christians. There’s the “remaining broken” option (umm, no thanks), and there’s the “be fully broken and used as a blessing” option (yes, please!).
** Note that “pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps” isn’t one of the options…**
The end of brokenness for believers is submission. It’s the shattering, and the being okay with the shattering. The finding JOY in the shattering, knowing that the rebuilding and the blessing is coming. The handing your soul over to the Lord with child-like trust, knowing that breaking will occur.
I was convicted by the fact that without this submission to brokenness, a believer is neither here nor there. Too far gone into Jesus to really be a part of the world, and yet not far gone enough to be fully useable by God.
The human part of me doesn’t want to live out of gear with the world, I really despise conflict with other people, and will often go to lengths to avoid it! However, I would much rather live without controversy with God, you know? If that involves broken to serve; broken to live; broken to be rebuilt, broken to bless, so be it.
If loving God fully requires brokenness, we don’t have to go looking for it. It’s pretty much already happened to all of us, hasn’t it? Have you remembered a name given to you by someone who intended to hurt you? Have you felt a loss in your life? Have you felt shame about anything in your past? Has someone you trusted implicitly betrayed that trust?
Brokenness, right there. All of it.
The beautiful thing about it is that it doesn’t have to remain broken. You don’t have to duct tape those wounds and hurts shut. There’s healing for them, and the healing comes when you allow the Lord to work in the broken places. And then, as if the healing isn’t enough, the Lord chooses to take these healed vessels and use them to be a blessing to others! This crazy fact I know to be true!!
If this is gnawing at your heart… you are this person, neither here nor there, don’t let that gnawing fade away. Talk to the Lord about it. It’s as easy as talking to any other person. Maybe even easier if you tend to tilt toward the introverted side like I do. 😉 Let HIM know you want brokenness and blessing. Seek out others to walk this with, shoot me a message or an email or a text. I’ll walk with you and with Jesus. He’s my favorite, and you are worth it.