Easter: 8 weeks home.

This year our Easter looks much more low-key than in years past.  Just like having an eight-week-old newborn baby might change things up, having our eight-week-old-four-year-old has changed things up a bit, but it’s good.  Really good.  She’s hearing that Jesus rose from the grave for HER today!

We have the joint Easter basket of goodies for the kids.  And the little pink and red and white monkeys in the basket?  They are leftover from Valentine’s Day…

We are missing the big family lunch to make way for a much needed nap time…

We attended the eight o’clock service and hurried out to prevent Miss J from being overwhelmed by the crowds.  She was still a little overwhelmed, but not too badly…


In many ways, Easter at 8 weeks home looks much more celebratory, too!

It looks like Resurrection Rolls to remind ourselves of the empty tomb!

It looks like hanging out together, and for the first time ever, dying Easter eggs…

It looks like still getting to spend time with extended family, just in a shorter span of time…

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There is a lot of joy today, but the joy I feel is ever-so-slightly tinged with sadness.  We’ve slowly been working up the length of time Julianne stays at church to allow her to be able to stay the full length today, Easter, and not be overwhelmed by it.  We let her go to her class today, and one of us checked on her halfway through, and another time a friend sent me a picture to show she was okay!  But the pick-up time?  My heart hurt a little when I realized that she didn’t really want to leave. Her “experience shopping” is still going full steam ahead, and to her, the classroom where there are new toys, and snacks, and coloring pages was far more interesting than this nebulous idea of “home”.  “Mama” is still lower case when were out of the house.  At home, I’m Mama.  Out and about, I’m just mama.

And so I ache a little knowing that her redemption is still in process, that this might take years for her to recognize more fully. My “life” verse is 2 Corinthians 3:18… and as I am being yearly/monthly/daily/hourly changed into more of a picture of Christ, she is being yearly/monthly/daily/hourly changed into what she is… a daughter.  A child of parents who love her and desire the best for her.  A sister to siblings who waited anxiously for her to finally be a part of the family.  A daughter of the King who rose from the grave with a picture of her in His eyes.

The pain is still there, but it’s dulled a little knowing that I am, in many ways, on the same journey she is.  I’m changing and being changed.  She is, too.  She has the shadow of loss in her history, but the Cross has a powerful enough Light to vanquish ANY darkness.  It happened once before when the tomb was emptied, and it will happen again as HER heart heals, and MY heart learns to trust the sovereign God who placed her in our family.

Happy Easter, Julianne.  You’ve only begun to taste and see the good things God has for you!  I pray that even though your mouth cannot form the words to say it, that you are processing that you are loved.  That you are wanted.  That you are precious and worth the Cross.

Thank you, Jesus for the Cross.  For loving the least of these, me included.

bluebonnets 1

** All pictures taken by my friend, Jennifer at Jenn Kipp Photography, who also took our “maternity” pictures last fall! **


4 Comments on “Easter: 8 weeks home.”

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