10 weeks HOME: a great day
Yesterday was rough. There are not words enough to describe the stress, the emotion, and the anxiety from yesterday. We are still learning about this precious girl of ours, and one of the things we’ve learned is that new experiences are really difficult for her. Not “in the moment”. Nope. She does extremely well “in the moment”. It’s the following hours (about 36 of them) that are achingly difficult. Behaviors rise to the surface that speak of a need to control what is going on around her, and some days I handle these behaviors better than others.
Yesterday was not one of them.
I was angry, y’all. Mainly angry at all of the JUNK that happened to her before we could get our hands on her and bring her home. Angry at abandonment. Angry at orphanhood. Angry at orphanages. Angry at protective emotional layers.
Today a friend texted and I told her I REFUSED to have a day like yesterday! I refused to give in to MY emotions. I refused to see the ugly past in our girl’s eyes. She suggested (having come home the same day as us, and being fully aware of how life is right now) that we challenge each other to report back on the good for the day.
And so, here it is, KB… my report.
It was a great day.
We went to the park.
On the way to the park, she sat in the stroller and LAUGHED!! This girl who has a history of fighting restraint LAUGHED in the stroller as we jogged (very slowly…) to the park.
She said, “hold on, Mama” as she climbed and played. The desire to be independent isn’t new, it’s how she rolls most of the time. But this time she wanted me to stay in a particular spot to WATCH HER play. I was a part of this WITH her today… not just a bystander.
She tried new things and then even sat in her sister’s lap to go down the slide. Going down a slide with someone? My Miss Independent? Big deal around these parts…
She climbed into my lap a number of times, something I didn’t get a picture of since today has been a too-busy-for-a-shower kind of day.
She wanted to me to hold her.
She asked permission to do something she normally just does without asking. That’s a big step.
She colored… and what what? She drew LINES and CIRCLES!
And then later… even her first “face”!!
At nap time, I put her in our bed and slept with her. I don’t always co-sleep for nap times, but in the wake of a traumatic day, I figured it was probably best for both of us.
And boy, we CRASHED.
Of course, on the way to pick up the boys from school, she was saying something not nice to her sister. When I reminded her that we use nice words, she looked at me and said, “poo poo”.
Since I had a hard time not giggling, I guess I’ll let that slide. 😉
So, today? It has been a great day. We have been home for TEN weeks, and I can hardly believe it.