from the top of the hill

Wednesday.  Middle of the week.  Feels like I’ve trudged up the hill to this point, and now I can look down toward Friday and breathe a sigh of relief.

Not every day is good.

Not every day is hard.

But every day is definitely good-and-hard.

Today has been a roller coaster of behavior.  Some heartwarming and great proving that attachment is occurring and our bond is strengthened.  Some has been heart breaking and frustrating proving that we still have more distance to conquer.  I’m looking at it from the top of the hill because I choose to right now.  That choice isn’t easy, and I often battle against it in favor of “easy” and “complacent”.

So, from Wednesday, I look down not just to Friday, but to the next week, the next few weeks, the next months.  And I know that there is good-and-hard to come.  And that’s okay.  One day the ride will be slower, one day the hills will become less steep.  One day I will look back and see the entirety of the picture and it will be just good because the hard will have made it so.

I feel like I tend to be a bit repetitive about this process; this journey.  The truth is that most days are repetitive.  I want to be able to look back one day and see the faithfulness of the Lord even in the repetition.  I want to see that a masterpiece was in the works even on the days when I fought the desire to ignore the orphan-needs.  He is faithful to pursue me every day and He is my inspiration to pursue Little Miss every day, whatever that looks like.

I am not at the top of the hill by myself. The Author and Giver of Life stands with me and says, “This. This is GOOD”.



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