I used to believe that there would come a day when our family dynamic would feel “normal” –  that we would mesh together in a way that was seamless – that the memory of the time Before would be blotted out by the Present, that thoughts of the Future wouldn’t always be accompanied by some …

Today marks the day when we saw Julianne for the first time face-to-face.  We had loved her from afar for nine long months, and finally, we saw her.  I will never forget the feelings from that day.  The way my fingertips felt numb with anticipation and nerves.  The way when we rode the elevator to …

If I could watch the world from the sidelines, I would. I don’t like being the center of attention, at least not for long periods of time.  It’s taken a decent number of years to be able to say “thank you” when complimented… hidden, unseen, invisible is what I have preferred to be. And then …

  Grief hits in the unexpected. We got an email from our adoption agency yesterday letting us know we are getting close to the time when we need to complete our two year post-placement report. My brain just stared at the words on the screen. How could this be true? How on EARTH are we …

  Twenty months ago the dance began.  We saw things happening that no child should have experienced.  Even with all of the training we did, we saw behaviors we were surprised by. We felt fear.  We felt panic. When will this end? Will it ever end? Forever is a long time, you know… We slowly …

Many people who haven’t adopted and admire those who have think that we have rescued our child. Truth is, we’re the rescued ones. Rescued from selfishness. Rescued from anger. Rescued from a worldview that says doing “fun things” is more important than adding more kids to the family. Rescued from believing it’s all about us. …

You look at me and tell me I’m awesome. I look at you and tell you “awesome” means nothing in the face of the kind of tired I feel many days. *** You see me dealing with medical care, appointments, and therapies and wonder how I maintain composure in the face of a life-long diagnosis. …

Thankful today for… water fights between girls and boys running through the sprinklers on a hot summer day my boys and my girls and how they won’t go to bed without getting a hug from me Daddy taking the boys on a Dude’s Night Out while the girls and I get to order take-out and …

I bet if I looked back and found any blogs posted during the last week of school, they would contain similar themes… Excitement about the impending summer vacation and the freedom to step back from the scheduled existence we live during the school year. Slight anxiety about the impending summer vacation and what life will …

We are ALMOST to the fifteen month mark having Julianne home with us!  It seems like a long time and a short time all at once.  At this point, I don’t remember much of what our life was like before we had her.  Four children is definitely a norm now, not something that surprises me. …