Warning: the following is EXTREMELY random… no thought went into the layout or editing…
Ha, I don’t have any aspirations of this newest idea of mine lasting for very long, ’cause, I do have a pretty hard time sticking to something like this. Hopefully, it will serve to meet my current need to clear my head, and who knows, maybe even last a while.
This is not the first blog I’ve attempted. My first was to focus on my 2 beautiful children. And, it had a nice little run. But I have other things I do to track their progress and quirks, and I like doing those things more. Scrapbooking is my favorite, but it’s been a while since I’ve done that too.
So, why try again. Well, I guess I have to do a little background thinking first.
I was brought up in a Christian home. My parents both became believers later in life, but I made the decision to accept Christ as my Savior when I was seven. Of course, at that age, I didn’t really understand what it meant to fully “die to self”, but I do believe that God has protected me in my life from circumstances because of that early decision. I grew up (aged, anyways) and was in a youth group at my church that focused on beliving because it was the logical choice. And, that’s true. There was a huge emphasis on study, and knowledge, and being “intellectually Christian”. And, I bought into the whole thing… to the point that the knowledge about Jesus became more important that a relationship with Jesus. Then, my dad retired from the military, and our whole family picked up and moved the summer before my senior year of high school. Thus began the “dark year”. It was awful. I lost a lot of weight because I’m now convinced I was depressed. And, to make things worse, I felt like my depression was my fault because I wasn’t leaning on God enough. How could I? I didn’t have a relationship with Him. I mean, I acknowledged that He was my Savior, but I didn’t actually “practice” leaning on Him during the tough times, or the good times either. The dark year ended only because I graduated and went to college.
The College Years:
They were great! It was the first time I had been at the same school for 4 years in a row (remember… military family). I joined organizations, made friends, loved my classes (most of them), and graduated with honors. Along the way I continued to grow in my Christian walk a little at a time. There were definite times when I was walking closer to God then others, but looking back I wonder if they were just in effort to change things myself, or to make changes based on what other people said or suggested.
So, graduation, marriage, and a move halfway across the country all happened within a 2 month period. Crazy, but incredibly fun. My husband (who is an amazing Christian man) and I joined a little start-up church that didn’t even have it’s own building yet. I think I was partly attracted to it because of that. I’d always been at the “First Baptist” type of church, the type that was big on appearances, not so big on fostering personal growth. **this is not meant to be a stereotype, just a comment made for lack of a better term** This church was small, and I knew everyone, but as time passed the church grew smaller and smaller until it was no longer in existence.
At this point, we visited other churches. But, I was veeery pregnant at the time with our first child, and honestly, visiting other places just made the hormones rage. I didn’t want to visit other places, so we ended up taking a break from church attendance for about 2 months. After our daughter was born we started visiting again, and I strongly felt God calling us to be at the church we are currently at. It was strange, because it’s another start up, that actually started after the one we had been in did, but this one was growing, and quickly. I was curious about it, and why I felt the Holy Spirit moving when I was there.
I think that’s going to be it for now. There are many, many things that I would like to write about, but I also need to not neglect my children. So, that’s all for now.